This Little Toe Is Bigger Than Me
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Lee is in love with a man who can switch places with a monstrous demon that once terrorized the world with wicked fangs and claws and nine wagging tails.  NaruLee


Lee is in love with a man who can switch places with a monstrous demon that once terrorized the world with wicked fangs and claws and nine wagging tails.

The saddest part about that is that the man he's in love with switches places _willingly_. Occasionally, he even does it to humor himself.

He rushes out of his apartment, panicked and high on adrenaline as he hears the screams of innocent villagers from his room, and runs into a gigantic toe. Not even a toe as much as its sharp, curved claw. Lee yelps as the claw suddenly turns over and swaps him into the center of a rough and plain-like footpad.

He looks up and up and up and up… and finally meets the deviant smirk of a certain demon fox. "Oh dear. I see you have come out to play again, Kurama-san."

The fox opens his mouth wide and laughs. Lee is nearly blown out of his grasp by the force of his breath alone. "Damn brat doesn't even let me sleep anymore!" He doesn't too upset about it, though. "All worth it to be on the outside again."

"I am sure!" Lee situates himself on the rough surface of Kurama's palm. "Is it necessary to be 'on the outside," and he uses his fingers to quote himself, "_in_ the village? The people do not seem to appreciate your…"

"Demonic presence?" Kurama finishes sourly.

"No, just presence. I was only going to say presence."

"Doesn't matter anyway! They'll just have to deal with it, won't they? I'm not going ANYWHERE!"

Lee is knocked onto his back with the power of Kurama's shout. Carefully, he rights himself with the air of someone who can not be ruffled. "That is all well and good. For all that you have done and the aide you have given Naruto-kun, _I_ most certainly do not mind your company! Spending time with you is as refreshing as a spring morning!"

"You're a strange little human," Kurama grunts.

"No stranger than the next human! YOSH, we are all our own individuals with our own personalities and our uniqueness is what makes us us!"

"I get it already! Snowflakes and that dumb shit."

"It is not dumb!"

"_Fine_. It's whatever you say it is."

Lee huffs and crosses his arms petulantly. "You are so infuriating, Kurama-san!"

"Heh. No one's said _that_ to me before."

"I do not know why. Infuriating is just what you are."

"NARUTOOO! YOU LITTLE BASTARD, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

Kurama looks down and Lee has to crawl to the edge of his paw to see what is going on below.

Lady Tsunade stands glaring up at the demon, flanked by Kakashi and Gai.

Lee's sensei sees him and gawks. "LEE! GET DOWN FROM THERE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS YOUTHFUL!"

"DO NOT WORRY, GAI-SENSEI! I AM SAFE!"

"SAFE? _THERE_?"

"YOSH!"

Lady Tsunade slams her elbow into Gai's gut and doesn't even bother to look back at him as he collapses into a small, green heap. Or at least he looks small from where Lee is. "KYUUBI! UNLESS YOU WANT TO BRING ABOUT A FULL-SCALED ATTACK ON YOURSELF, YOU _WILL_ REVERT BACK TO THE STUPID BRAT _RIGHT NOW_!"

Kakashi says something to the hokage that Lee doesn't catch but he does manage to see the dirty look he gets in turn. Kakashi turns his attention up and cups his hands to his masked mouth. "HEY, LEE! HOW'S THE WEATHER UP THERE?"

"IT IS A BIT CHILLY!"

Kurama's ears flick back against his skull. "How are you _chilly_? I'm a fucking furnace!"

Lee sighs. "Yes, well, the wind is blowing towards _me_. You are very warm to sit on but that does not… oh." He blinks as Kurama curls his fist around him, gently, loosely, and nearly cocoons Lee in his paw. "That is much better! Thank you, Kurama-san!"

"YOU LOOK COMFY UP THERE!" Kakashi taps his chin thoughtfully. Lee somehow knows that he is smiling. "I'M HALF-TEMPTED TO JOIN YOU!"

Lady Tsunade punches him in the face. "LEE, GET THE HELL DOWN FROM THERE. KYUUBI, REVERT BACK!"

Lee looks curiously up at Kurama and Kurama tilts his long face to meet his gaze. "I think we should listen to her."

"I think she needs to mind her own damn business!"

"Kurama-san!"

"Well, she does!"

"ON THE COUNT OF THREE, I'M GOING TO START –"

There is a large, enveloping, suffocating bloom of smoke and miniscule matter. From the midst of it, someone snorts. "Geez, you hold hag! What's all the yelling for?"

Someone breathily cries, in all lovesick tones, "Naruto-kun!"

Lady Tsunade and Kakashi squint through the mess but it takes a moment for them to see what is going on. Gai lifts his head, finally, and starts sobbing wildly at the sight that meets his eyes. "My student is so in love!"

Naruto keeps his arms tight around Lee's waist, even though he most likely knows they're being watched, and Lee has him cozily close by his hips, lips on lips, and they're obviously enjoying themselves.

Lady Tsunade rubs her forehead and scowls behind her wrist. "Brats." And then, because the crisis has been averted, she leaves. She isn't going to stick around and watch the two shinobi go sweet on each other.

Kakashi smiles and stays because he is not so much a closet pervert as someone who very much enjoys a free show and young love is beautiful to watch. Gai stays for mostly the same reason excluding the fact that he's not so much a pervert as much as a ditz.

"Did you have fun, Naruto-kun?" Lee asks his most special person.

"Hell yeah! But I want to have a different kind of fun now, you know?"

"_Do_ I know?"

Naruto circles a hand around to his backside and finds a globe of tight flesh to molest. He tilts his head towards Lee's ear and growled. "Yeah, you _do_."

"I can not find it in me to argue with that!"

"Great! Now let's get out of here, I don't want to put on a show for those two."

Lee takes notice of the senseis still watching them and flushes darkly with the knowledge that Naruto's hand is still somewhere highly inappropriate.

"DO NOT BE ASHAMED, LEE! This is a show of your affection for your most special person!"

"You are right, GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GA-" Lee blinks. Gai-Sensei twitches. Kakashi raises an eyebrow but shrugs and leaves. This is most likely the end of fun anyhow, what with Naruto showing his caveman side…

Naruto hoists Lee higher up on his shoulder, glares at Gai, and then rushes off in the opposite direction. "NOT happening! NOT now!"

They're gone before Gai realizes what just happened.

Author's Note: I had no desire to do M-rated stuff… I just felt like writing about Kurama (which I found out in recent manga chapters is the Kyuubi's real name) and Lee… and Naruto. Because NaruLee is becoming extremely appealing to me.


End file.
